Introducing the Saga of Shoo! and Lonelyheart  
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June 30 - Home

After three long days of hardly daring to believe, it's happened! I'm really home!

My foster mom popped me in the car and drove me to a house I'd never seen before – but I just knew it was the right place. SHE was right there, waiting on the front porch for me!

We went in and I explored everything – new bowls, new bed, new toys that I don't have to share with anybody – and, best of all, a new mom who needs me just as much as I need her. Life is good...

June 30th

DD, Animal Aid approved my application!

Can you imagine my surprise when they delivered my new companion and the shelter had named him Stanley? What a perfect fit, like an old shoe.

Better yet, Ryan is visiting and after meeting Stanley, who he calls "G-Pa", Ryan tells me he has decided to take Veterinary Studies as his major in college. Somewhere Stan is smiling, and right here in our living room, Stanley is getting a well-earned belly rub.

Life is good...

June 26

Today, I found out what "love at first sight" really means!

There I was, taking care of the Animal Aid volunteers at Western Pet - and suddenly, our eyes met from across a crowded room. I know she felt it, too.

One minute she was hauling a wagon full of dog food toward the door, and the next minute she was down on her knees, scratching that special spot behind my left ear. NOTHING says love like a good ear scratch. What a woman! When she finally tore herself away from me, she promised that we'd see each other again soon. Despite all of the stuff I've been through, I just can't help but believe her. Hope hope hope hope hope.

June 26th

Dear Diary, I am smitten!

I made my Western Pet stop for food donations not knowing they were having an Outreach program today. Oh my goodness! I fell hard for a sweet, sad looking creature, yeah, I felt a connection. I applied to adopt this guy. I should hear back soon from Animal Aid.

June 23

I'm not sure what a "blog" is, but I think I have one. I hope that doesn't mean another trip to the vet!

Kat came by to talk to my foster mom today – she took lots of pictures of me (I AM a handsome lad these days) and asked tons of questions about me. I think she likes me – at least, she kept telling me what a good and pretty boy I am. These Animal Aid people seem to have excellent taste!

Kat said that between my blog and the trip to Western Pet (whatever THAT means) I'm bound to find just the right person. I've gotta hope so – I really like it here in my foster home, but I need a place to call my own forever.

June 24th

Dear Diary, made my first run with two cats today from Animal Aid to Pacific Vet. I have to say these cats have a calming effect on me, I sang them lullabies and all the commercials I could remember from the 70's...plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is...to love again.

DD, missing Stan with a side order of missing Stan today. Signed up for 3 more transports for Animal Aid. Vista, Gabriel Park and Tigard, than a pick up of dog food donations from Western Pet, this will distract me from my sorrow.

June 18

Back in the carrier, back in the car, back to uncertainty – and then back home!

OK – not HOME, exactly – but today was the first time I remember where the humans brought me back to the same place I started after an expedition.

Not my favorite kind of adventure, since it was a trip to the vet. I was pretty scared, but they were really nice and gentle while they poked around in my ears, trimmed my nails, and cut some nasty mats out of my fur (wow did that feel good!). I was all ready to be miserable, and instead it was a pretty decent day. The best part was when my foster mom said "OK – let's head for home" and then took me back to my new buddies, my bed, and (best of all) my own bowl!

June 19th

Dear Diary,  Ryan wrote, he is worried about his Grandma, I do not want to be a burden to my daughter's family. They have enough to handle with Tom coming home from Afghanistan in two weeks!

DD, I can't wait to write Ryan about where his Grandma will be hanging out.  Animal Aid is an amazing shelter; it's a free roam shelter, full of cats; dogs are placed in foster care where they have a yard to run in (I have a yard! Maybe someday.)  Cats get to jump, hide, play, in a safe environment, socialize with other cats.  I remember when Stan and I committed to eating only cage-free eggs; Stan would love this place!

June 14

It's not "Cat" – it's "Kat" – and she's a human!

I don't know what happened, exactly – no long conversations, no trips to a little room to get pawed over by strangers! One minute I was in my cage, and the next minute I was in a carrier in the back of an SUV headed for a place called "Animal Aid."

Spent a few hours in my carrier in an office (with two real cats wandering around like they owned the place – I just pretended they weren't there) while Kat (the human) called around trying to find me a foster home. Bazinga! Suddenly my whole world has turned around.

I'm in a house with people and dogs and cats – and NO cages! The animals there are all pretty nice – they've seen guys like me before, and they don't seem to mind if I camp out with them for awhile. The humans are great – soft voices, lots of pets when I need them, lots of space when I want to be left alone. I wonder what's next?

June 15th

Dear Diary, got the call from Animal Aid, they accepted my application!

Animal Aid would like to train me to be a cat caregiver but I can start tomorrow as a cat transporter. So much for not using the car – Animal Aid needs people to transport their cats from the Shelter to the veterinarians who care for them. How can I say no, just because I am terrified of driving in the city! I have a car, I am a good driver. I will just have to get over myself and focus on the animals!

June 7

SO tired. I can barely think, much less move.

I've heard of cat naps, and sleeping like a dog - but this is something completely different. I'm so exhausted I can barely think, much less move – and what's the use, anyway? Nobody wants me today, nobody will want me tomorrow, nobody will ever want me.

It's over. I can't eat, or play, or look lovable and charming for all those short-sighted humans who come by looking for something younger, cuter, bigger, smaller, livelier, friendlier – but never for me! Maybe I'll take another nap.

June 8

Dear Diary, went to Doc today, my vitals are ‘outstanding’  ‘keep doing what you’re doing’ Doc says.  Time to get involved, Stan!

Dear Diary, went to Animal Aid today, it’s right on my bus line, the #54/56. So are all these pet-friendly places: PetUtopia, Fred Meyers, New Seasons, and Western Pet. 

I filled out a volunteer application, I hope I don’t have to mingle with folks! I mean, just let me take care of the animals, please. 

June 4

Maybe it's not the people who are crazy - could it be me?

I've got everything I thought I needed - food, water, a warm bed, a bit of human attention - but I'm just as scared and miserable as I was on the outside, only now I'm also incredibly bored!

The most exciting part of the day is when people come around. Sometimes one person comes along with food  and water or to clean up after me, and other times they come in little groups and just stare in at me. The nicest ones talk to me in soft little voices and tell me I'm a good boy, but others just walk right by and don't even look at me. I keep trying to say "See me! Love me! Take me home!" but  they don't seem to understand.

Once a little girl pointed at me and said  "I want THAT one" so they put me in a room with her whole family. I was so scared I was shaking, and after a few minutes they put me back in the cage. I was sad, but relieved at the same time. See why I think I'm crazy?

June 3

Seems simple enough – if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Apparently these shelter folks were all brought up without this simple bit of wisdom. It started the day I arrived here – people asking "Is he fixed?" or "When are we going to fix him?"  Some of 'em used a fancy term – "neuter" – to describe what they had in mind for me.

All I know for sure is that one of the oh-so-cheerful shelter ladies took me out of my cage (I'm thinking "freedom!"), and took me to a room where they stuck me with yet another needle. The next thing I knew, I was back in the cage (so much for my dreams of freedom) with a big plastic cone between my head (a little fuzzy still, but basically OK) and the rest of my body (a bit sore in a few places).

Although I can't see or get my tongue down there to check things out, I have the most remarkable feeling that something's missing. All I can figure is that when they tried to "fix" me, maybe they accidentally broke something?

June 1

Good news: I got out of the zoo.
Bad news: I think I'm in jail!

I've been pretty good at sneaking away from humans up until now, but the zoo folks didn't play fair! They are fast, fearless, and skilled - AND they have cages that even I can't escape from. After a couple of hours in local custody, they handed me over to some animal control officers, who
promptly transported me to the Big House - and here I thought Troutdale was just part of my colorful past.

So far, I've been fed (good), stuck with needles (bad), bathed (AWFUL!), and stuck in a concrete cell (bad) with a nice soft bed (good). Not sure what to make of this place - time will tell.

June 2

Dear Diary, lost my Houdini, the veterinarian discovered she had throat cancer, suffering was extreme and so she was euthanized. 

Dear Diary, the thought of Houdini not coming home made me realize I want an intimate relationship with a pet. I want to bring someone into my home.  I need to adopt. 

May 26

Whoever first said "head for the hills!" had obviously never been to Portland! Probably the same idiot who said "Go west, young man!"

I once thought raccoons and coyotes were scary! Pickings were getting pretty lean downtown, and some humans had been giving me the fisheye, so I thought I'd keep head west toward the hills - lots of trees to hide me, not so many machines threatening life and limb. Straight shot up Burnside, then into a HUGE park with enough roses for Portland and Pasadena combined.

I smelled FOOD behind some gates that might stop humans, but were no problem for a slender lad like me. Raw meat and fish aromas calling out to me, along with some other voices I didn't recognize until I got close enough to see: HUGE beasts leering at me like I was an appetizer. Lions, bears, wolves, snakes that could swallow a Great Dane in one bite - no place for a little guy like me! Finally found a safe place to spend the night in a place filled with dinosaurs (huge, but comfortingly fake). First thing tomorrow I'm getting OUT of this place

May 29

Dear Diary  six of my 7 cats took the bait, one of my girls outsmarted the trap, she took an extra day to catch.  I call her Houdini.

DD picked up 6 of my cats they are so beautiful! I have not had the luxury of looking at their faces up close until now. I’ll pick up Houdini tomorrow. I was told to keep them in a safe place in their traps for 24 to 48 hours or until alert and not dopey from the anesthesia, to feed them wet cat food so they get all the fluids they need to recover.

When Houdini comes home there will be five girls, two boys; I did the math; roughly 1,750 cats saved from being born to hunger, disease or euthanasia, (not counting the boy’s fertility…).

Stan would have thrived on this drama, maybe he would have lived longer if we had become more involved in animal welfare, involved in something besides ourselves?

May 22

I had almost forgotten how much I love carrot cake!

OK - not so much the cake (carrots are OK, but I'm NOT a rabbit, you know.) but the cream cheese frosting is just intoxicating - especially now, when my menu options are so limited. Started the day by Whole Foods (the 6:30 am smells coming down from the Mezz were great!) and later decided to slither up 10th Street pretending to be invisible.

It worked pretty well until I was stopped in my tracks by the aromas at Cupcake Jones. Someone dropped a carrot cupcake on the sidewalk, so I grabbed it, shot up Everett to a little park, and had my own private festival of frosting. I'm sure this stuff isn't good for me on a regular basis, but (a) nothing is regular these days, and (b) what are the odds that I'll have this opportunity again?

May 25

Dear Diary, never imagined I would be on my knees in a blackberry thicket trapping feral cats.  Stan I know you are smiling!

Dear Diary, went to Feral Cat Coalition today, they gave me humane traps to bait my cats.  I will bring them in to the clinic in the morning, if they don’t outsmart the traps. I was told some of these feral cats know how to pass over the trigger point and eat the food w/out the trap door closing. 

When they arrive at the clinic they will be sedated and spayed or neutered, vaccinated, de-wormed and whatever else they may need is taken care of – I was told a cat went in with a series eye infection and came out with one eye! 

May 19

Downtown is WAY too scary in the daytime!

How can one street hold so much danger? Cars, trains, streetcars, and bicycles – all sharing the same stretch of asphalt – but there’s just no place in all this mess for me! Lots of sidewalks, but they aren’t much better because there are so many people, some walking fast and others sitting down blocking my path. The safest (and warmest) places are doorways, at least at night.

Found a beautiful recessed entryway on 6th Street called Ironstone Bank, and spent a couple of calm evenings in its shelter. I had to find a place to hide when the people showed up in the morning, even though they seemed pretty nice.  I just don’t know who to trust anymore. Yesterday one of them even left a bowl of water and some food out for me! Not too much competition, since raccoons seem to avoid this part of town, so I’ve got a full belly for a change.

May 21

Dear Diary, in 7 years one female cat can have 350 kittens and each of those female kittens can have 350 more!  Male cats are off the charts!

Dear Diary. can’t believe I went to the Animal Aid Workshop!  Haven’t been out at night since Stan died... but I learned so much, like how spaying or neutering your pet is  not an option but an ethical responsibility, and there are so many organizations that will help w/ finances. 

I had no idea that a kitten can become pregnant at 5 months and go into heat four times a year, talk about teen pregnancy! This is TODDLER pregnancy!

May 16

Even without Susan, the underside of a bridge is a pretty cool place to hang out.

I saw a few people who seemed to be camping out under the bridge I crossed yesterday, but I wasn’t brave enough to get close to anybody. One looked like an animal lover, but the dog with him acted kinda like I might make a good snack!  I don’t know why they decided to leave, but it sure made my day. It was a lot easier to sleep when I didn’t have to worry about being mistaken for a chew toy – AND they left some scraps of people food and dog food on the ground.

I remember a time when my people said I was a picky eater – but that was a million years ago.

May 17

Dear Diary, had a reason to get out of bed this morning, garbage trucks! Garbage trucks might be scaring away my cats!

Dear Diary. asked the garbage men not to throw my garbage cans because I was feeding a family of cats and did not want to scare them away. They assured me you couldn’t scare a feral cat. 

Feral cats?  I need to do my homework and find out what a feral cat is?  Meantime I went to the Mall to waste some time and found a pet store called PetUtopia.  I picked up some cat food and a brochure from Animal Aid, a no kill animal shelter that gives free workshops.  They are having one about adopting a pet; after losing Rufus in Brooklyn, Stan and I swore off pets, maybe it’s time? 

May 13th

Wow - Furever Pets is my kind of place!

Wandering down Broadway last night, I peeked in a window and caught a glimpse of Paradise – more food, toys, and beds than I could have imagined, and ALL for animals. Somebody, somewhere, must love pets a lot. All I’ve got to do is figure out how to hook up with one of those special someones.

In the meantime, I’ve gotta stay on the move – no loose boards to help me sneak in at Furever Pets!  The big, beautiful bowl of fresh (FRESH! CLEAN!) water they left outside (they must know about guys like me…) gives me hope; and for now that’s more important than anything.

May 14

Dear Diary, had a call from Doc, blood pressure’s too high, and she wants a plan…

Dear Diary what plan?  Doc tells me there is a Senior Center in Hillsdale that pulls in a crowd for Sunday supper and square dancing.  That’s just not appealing to me. Am I a snob?  I would rather watch this family of cats in the yard than go and dance with strangers.

May 10th

I’ve been put out of a car, kept out of a truck – and late last night I got thrown off a train!

I travel at night when there aren’t so many cars, and I hide and sleep during the day. Late last night I found a spot with bright lights, but no people around. A giant train was stopped, and the doors were open. I went in to check it out (and to get out of the cold and wet – the rain came back!) and suddenly the doors closed. I hid between some of the seats at the front and tried to be invisible. Every time it stopped I tried to get off, but there was never time. Next thing I knew, some guy said “No MAX for you, buddy!” and tossed me out the door. Not much to eat at Lloyd Center, but the trash cans behind the Village Inn were pretty spectacular!

May 7

I’m too thirsty to be dead, so I guess that means I’m alive.

Don’t know how long I’ve been in the shed, but it was long enough that the rain stopped. Everything is dry now – here I am looking out on a dusty road with nothing in sight to eat, no puddles to drink from.

At least I’m warm. Can’t remember the last time I was warm. Can’t remember much of anything from my old life. I only spent two nights with her, but I remember Susan better than anyone else. Every time a truck goes by, I imagine that she’s coming back to find me and take me with her to Sacramento, wherever that is!

May 9

Dear Diary, looks like a family of cats is hanging around my trash, they look as skinny as me!

Dear Diary, must be all the food I’m throwing away.  They smell it; put some chicken on a paper plate to make life a bit easier for them, watched as they devoured it.  They would not let me near them but it is oddly comforting having them around, even if at a distance

April 29

I’m beginning to think that some garbage should not be eaten!

Don’t know if it was the gloriously stinky cheese or the stuff in the box with a picture of a rat on it – but I am sick, sick, sick. I’m not so sure I want to live, if this is what life’s gonna be like for me. I dragged myself to an empty shed – there’s a loose board, and I think I can crawl in out of the rain. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to get to sleep. If I’m really lucky, I won’t wake up.

April 30

Saw a few stray cats out by the garbage. Why do people let them roam?

Can’t understand it. When we had animals, they were OURS. Didn’t leave them to wander around the streets dodging cars in the daytime and coyotes at night. Seems like someone would want to take care of them, but maybe nobody does.

April 27

How many times will my heart be broken?

I lost her. I thought everything was going so well, but this morning my beautiful friend tore up a cardboard box and wrote "Sacramento" on the biggest piece. We walked and walked, then stood by the on-ramp to the I-205 and she held up her sign for hours. Finally some guy in a truck pulled over and told her to hop in. She picked me up, but the guy said "Just you, girlie. Keep that filthy thing outta my truck!" I’ve never seen anything sadder than her eyes as she set me down on the sidewalk – but I couldn’t see my own eyes, could I?

April 25

Found a friend last night – maybe things are looking up!

It’s awful that people throw away their pets – but today I learned some people throw away their children! The sign said Pleasant Valley, but even here some people are living on the streets, in parks, sleeping in the rain and grubbing through trash cans just like me. I met Susan last night, a girl so nice it almost breaks my heart. I stood with her on a corner in the rain and people in their cars sometimes tossed money to her. I thought I’d lost her when she went into a burger joint, but she came out with TWO burgers, and gave me the meat from one. Then she took me to a hidden place under a bridge, and I watched out for her while she slept. I think I’m in love…

April 26

Ryan called today to see how I was doing. Of course I lied.

I can’t bear to let the kids know how I’m feeling. They’ve got enough to worry about without me being a burden – and what can they do, anyway?

I’d never ask them to move here, and there’s nothing left for me in the old places. I love them, but they have their own lives and I hope they think I have mine.

April 23

I can’t believe that I used to hate trash day!

All those loud trucks rumbling up and down the street used to scare me – but that was before I knew what real fear is. Real fear is competing with raccoons trying to steal a bit of food left in a big dog’s bowl, never knowing when the dog will come out to defend that last bite. Real fear is two days with nothing but a drink of gutter water. Real fear is trying to cross Highway 26 during rush hour, because there might be something wonderful on the other side (but there never is). Trash day, on the other hand, is a feast day!

April 24

No one to make breakfast for, I might as well go back to bed.

Dear Diary, pizza is impossible to swallow without Stan, football, basketball, boring with out his arm-waving commentary…

I miss you so much that my clothes don’t fit anymore, your old leather-fishing belt is keeping my jeans up these days. Doesn’t matter anyway – most days there’s no reason to leave the house.

April 21

All I ever hear is get away! Scat! Shoo!

Don’t know how far I can get, but I’m going back on the road to anywhere but here. In my old family, they used to smile and call me Sweet Little Baby, Angel Bug, and Pooh-Bear – but the people I’ve met so far don’t smile – and they don’t talk to me, either. They just yell at me. They wave their arms, throw stuff, and shout “Shoo!” I guess my new name is Shoo. I liked Pooh-Bear a lot better.

April 22

Thought it was a heart attack, but the folks at the ER tell me I’ve got it all wrong. They say this pain is a broken heart.

They say “Get out more, make friends, go to the senior center in Hillsdale.” Can’t they see I’m shy? Stan was the talkative one. Without him to break the ice, won’t I be frozen out?

April 20

I will NOT stay in that soggy park until I starve, or freeze, or get eaten by a coyote.

Not me – I’ve hit the road, and I’m gonna keep going until I find a place where I’m safe, and warm, and mostly FED!!! I was hoping that a place named Troutdale would have a few fish laying around, but so far no luck – although I did find an empty tuna can. Now I know – tin cans have sharp edges that cut your nose. My paws are sore, my fur is matted, and now I’m bleeding! My only chance is to look cute, and that’s getting harder every day. Maybe if I tried looking sad? That’s easy to do – no acting talent required.

April 18

Has everyone gone crazy?

At first, I was sure someone would take care of me – or at least toss me a bite of lunch. But now I hide whenever I see a car. Folks who ignore me or act like they are afraid of me are bad enough, but yesterday was the worst. Two boys shot a GUN at me, then tried to hit me with their car. It wasn’t all bad, ‘cause the beer made them lousy shots, and the slobs left a bunch of trash. I was never allowed to mess with trash in my old home, but I’m pretty sure the rules are different now. I never knew how wonderful cold french fries could be – not to mention hamburger wrappers – where have THEY been all my life?

April 19

How much more of this hammering silence can I take? My heart aches…

Stan, in your obituary you remembered my dream, the one from when we were first married, of the curtains catching fire and our house burning to the ground. You must have known what I’d be without you! How could you leave me like that?

April 15

I can’t believe it – they dumped me! They really dumped me!

One minute I was in the car, and the next thing I knew he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and dropped me in the parking lot, then drove away!

Maybe they thought that I’d be okay, with all of Lewis and Clark Park to wander in – or maybe they thought that somebody would come along and take me home. But they were wrong.

I’m scared, and I’m cold, and I’m hungry, and most of all I’m lonely. Even though they stopped paying much attention to me when the baby came, at least I had food and a warm bed.

I remember when they used to say that I was their baby. What did I do wrong? Will they come back for me?

April 15

Finally sent out Stan’s obituary, didn’t bother sending it to the Oregonian, no one knows us out here.

Dear Diary, sent Stan’s obituary to the NY Times, the only paper he would ever read, responsible for us moving out here that paper; all those Sunday supplements about the great NW. Can’t believe Stan wrote his own obituary! I found it in our pile of to do lists:

Stan’s Obituary

Tell my story, on the back flap of a matchbook.

Misspell my birthplace; toast my grandkids till you slur all my achievements other than marrying you, and raising Ryan. Repeat our marriage vows for those who have missed out on life’s miracles. Sweet scent of sulfur, sweet woman of 40 years, the curtains have finally caught fire…Stanley